The lost art of loving

Gone are the days when he wrote poetry on my skin. Now he writes on Facebook and the only way I know is because I’m tagged in each post. I wonder about the lost art of loving for my old soul craves something more. Don’t be mistaken. I don’t detest modern love. I too write on social media, share updates about my life and have made mistakes in love like so many others my age.

I think modern love has its own beauty and this article isn’t about the comparison between which is better. I simply want us to think about how today love is not more than a four-letter word.

Let me make up some characters. It’s always easier when you have characters in your story for they bear the burden of making the story good enough to be read aloud.

Riya and Sameer are going to be celebrating their fifth anniversary soon. They haven’t been married for long and the spark is already dead. Riya doesn’t wake up to a good morning kiss anymore and Sameer has long forgotten his promise to take Riya out on a date once a week. They don’t do anything fun anymore. Marriage looks like the point of satiety where things start falling and love diminishes. Love should be like a ladder you keep climbing because the more efforts you put in, the more you receive. Their anniversary arrives a week later and Riya receives a text from Sameer because he was in a hurry and couldn’t wish. Riya doesn’t plan a surprise for him anymore but does not fail to write a long message on Facebook. Both hardly spend the day together and even dinner is eaten without a conversation thanks to the television.

Aren’t we all living the same way? Forget marriage, even relationships have turned this way now. We are unable to fully commit, we’re always thinking love can be delayed, we stop doing the little things, we think it isn’t necessary to spend time together and we have replaced holding hands with texts and video calls. Is love so unimportant that we don’t even bother to take care of it?

I think true love is the only magic we have. I want a love where the passion does not fade. We could be grocery shopping on a Friday night and we could still have the best time. Love is about making time for each other. I don’t want to come home to a man who doesn’t even look up from the newspaper. I think love is about wanting to spend time with each other and doing the things we love together. True love is not about the extraordinary gestures. It’s about a single red rose in his hand on a Monday evening because he knows how roses cheer you up. Love is not just about what we show online but about the happiness that is found in simply existing together. Love is slow dancing with her in the kitchen even after fifteen years of marriage.

Love is all about loving. It is the art of giving only to receive more of it. Spend your life laughing with the person you wake up next to each morning and everything will be perfect in your life. Love is not about the relationship status or social media posts or casual hookups. Love is opening up your soul to another and giving them a permanent space. It is about actually loving and not simply a tag.

Love is magic. Recognize its worth and you shall have heaven on earth. 

We’ve lost the art of loving, maybe it’s time to get it back. 

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